Surprise, Surprise!

Being Irish I never new the Cilla Black version of Surprise, Surprise – I only know the Holly Willoughby version. I understand the concept hasn’t changed though. People go to the show expecting one thing to happen and they are utterly surprised by what happens in reality!

Sounds extremely famililar! I’ve constantly being surprised by what surprises me with my M.E.!

Sometimes it’s little things like did you know Epsom Salts are meant to help reduce muscle pains? However, that’s not the surprise – added bonus: makes your hair very shiny and soft – now that you can’t complain about!

The washing machine is not the bin; therefore, the empty cat food box won’t go in it! That was on a brain fog day!

I’ve been surprised how at random times, I forget how to do random things but only for random durations of time! At Christmas I tied lots of bows on Christmas presents then randomly didn’t have a clue how to do it on the next present! I sat there desperately trying to work out how: aware that I had the skill! Almost in tears I gave it to my husband to do! Seriously, what was going on there!?

I’ve also been surprised by more serious things. It only took weeks for my very career focused attitude to change. I’m the Head of English in a school (despite not having worked for 5 months) and have always been very driven about climbing the career ladder. Just weeks before getting sick, I had already had an interview for a Deputy Headship and was just about to apply for another. I wanted to be a Headteacher in 6 years – it took only those few weeks for me to decide that wasn’t important, it would happen if it happened. I feel all the happier for that.

I’ve been surprised at my ability to deal with a potentially life changing illness. I always looked at those people who became ill and dealt with it in awe, either dealing with things is easier than I thought or maybe I too am awesome!

I’ve been surprised by colleagues. A colleague at work who only started weeks before I went on sick leave contacted me to send me some information she had found about M.E. that she thought would be useful. That touched me deeply. Others who I felt I had been close to, haven’t been in touch at all. Their lives have gone on and I’m not part of it – that shouldn’t surprise me at all.

I’ve been surprised by the success of this blog both numerically and emotionally. It is still in its first ten days but over that time it has been read in at least 15 countries including: Nepal, Korea, Malta, Germany, Norway, Sweden and The Netherlands and it has been viewed over a 1000 times!

It has also surprised and heartened me that so many people have felt my words have resonated with them. That I have been able to a certain extent reflect their own experiences and make them feel less isolated! I’m surprised that little old me is capable of that.

Don’t tell my students but I’ve been surprised that the English skills I’ve been teaching for the last 4 years have improved my own writing skills! As I write, I can hear my words to them in my head and I hope this comes out on paper. I’ve surprised myself by how much teaching English has taught me!

I have been surprised by how much I hate asking for help! I referred to independence in yesterday’s blog so won’t go into too much detail here. Seriously though, who would have thought asking someone to make you a cup of tea would be so emotionally hard!

Mainly I’ve been surprised by how quickly your life can change. How things you took for granted are no longer guaranteed and things you never considered before become central to how you live your life.

Not all surprises are good ones and not all surprises make you happy! Today I’m not surprised to have woken up at 5 unable to get back to sleep, I am however surprised at just how shiny and soft my hair is after my Epsom Salt bath last night!

Who needs a Holy Willoughby ‘Surprise, Surprise’ when you can have M.E. šŸ™‚

3 thoughts on “Surprise, Surprise!”

  1. The one consistant thing I can say about ME is that it always keeps me guessing! This afternoon I’ve caught myself inexplicably brushing my teeth at least three times. I can guarantee that each one of those was instead of something important I was meant to have done but that got confused in my brain.

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