‘There where the waves spray
The feet of solitary reefs…
A loving enchantress
Gave me her talisman.
She told me with tenderness:
You must not lose it,
Its power is infallible,
Love gave it to you.’
Alexander Pushkin, ‘The Talisman’
Let’s be fair, to use a quote from a Russian author of great repute is a little bit pompous but even if it is, in this case I think it describes beautifully to me the subject of this week’s blog. I came across this additional quote recently that also made me think about the same subject and it too sums up my feelings nicely.
‘Now and again in these parts, you come across people so remarkable that, no matter how much time has passed since you met them, it is impossible to recall them without your heart trembling.’
Nikolai Leskov, ‘Lady Macbeth of Mtsenski’
Those who know me well, won’t be overly surprised to see me quoting Russian authors. While not a fanatic, I have always been drawn to the power and drama of Russian writers. I love the intrigue and power plays, especially in the pre-Russian revolution era. I am however not about to go down the route of discussing Russian literature. This is a skill that far exceeds my limited talents.
No, these quotes reminded me of something perhaps far mundane than Russian literature although for me something far more real and far more important. These quotes brought to mind the power and love of my extended family; common parlance calls us, ‘The Hogans’.
Reality is that we are far from ‘The Hogans’ that once existed when the last of the modern core Hogan family was born in 1948 (my mother as it happens). We are the Hogan clan yet so many of us are a generation if not even two generations away from the original Hogan title. Some of us may not even share the blood of the Hogans but through upbringing and shared experiences are as very much a Hogan as anybody else. For we are Ironsides, Lydons, McDonalds, McCarthneys, O’Sheas, Donaldsons, Farrellys, Healys, Gallaghers, Scanlons, Bantins, Mathers, Buckleys, Warrens, Carrolls and probably many more that I cannot keep track of. What unites us all though is the strength of identity and indeed the strength of personality of twelve brothers and sisters. For us first cousins, these aunts and uncles; mothers or fathers are the originals – the very heart and soul of the Hogan clan.
The Hogans had always played a key role in my life: my summers were spent with cousins Alice, Brid and Una. Alice was also there for some of my first alcohol experiences as I was there for hers (least said about that the better!). My adolescent years were spent with my Aunty Mai winding me up and my cousin, Kathy (her daughter) happily helping her. My Aunty Ann would take me swimming in the rivers near their house while Uncle Vinny took me out on the family farm and showed me how to herd cattle. I still use the breathing method cousin Clare thought me one summer so I could swim further under water. Uncle Frank and Aunty Marie along with their daughter, Roisin, gave me my first experience of spending time with someone with a disability and seeing how disability makes you no different than you would be different without the disability.
Later, Aunty Robin in England with her husband Brian, provided me with a respite from London when things got very hard. They were my escape, they gave me the ability to call them on a Friday night and say, ‘is it ok if I come on the next train?’ Their daughter Maureen allowed me be her bridesmaid, terrifyingly about 30 years ago. Uncle Don, the history professor, helped me prepare for my final history exams in school. My cousin Carol in England, gave me the chance to spend time her in her school before my teacher training interview so at least I could pretend I knew something about the English education system. I could go on. We are family that supports each other (while of course being busy winding each other up and talking very loudly at each other!).
For many years, I didn’t value the Hogan family. I loved spending time with them but I didn’t recognise just how important having a family identity was. I didn’t see just how lucky I was to have such a powerful strong group behind me who would support me through to the ends of time; through arguments and laughter, this group would always be there for each other.
For me the night was a turning point in my understanding of the importance of the Hogan clan. A sad reality was suddenly made clear: Joe was now 80 and my oldest uncle, Uncle Liam was now 87. Martin at 82 had cancer. How much longer could the aunties and uncles be the focal point around which the family pivoted? What would happen when that pivot point no longer was there? What would happen to the strong family unit that was created the day the eldest sibling, Uncle Liam, was born in 1926?
Now we find our aunties and uncles reduced from 12 to just 9 with Uncle Liam passing on in 2014, Aunty Brid and Aunty Ann (Uncle Vinny’s wife) in 2014.
The family continues to age and but also to grow. Aunty Robin likes a party. Any excuse really. So turning 80 needed a party! Despite moving to London in the early 1950s, she has always been the one with contact with all of the siblings and indeed a lot of the cousins. If you need a message passed to the family, get it to Robin and your work can be considered complete! This family centred focus required therefore her party to be in Ireland! When her daughter, Maureen, pushed her to focus on exactly who was going to the party she declared, ‘Everyone!’. Robin had sent out an open invitation to every Hogan relative not matter how distantly related.
These links will probably only work if you are a member of the Hogan Facebook group. Working on a way to upload them to YouTube and will replace these links when I do.
Jon’s first solo song at a Hogan Sing Song – he has sung in national choirs for years though.
Cousin Brid – now she is Uncle Frank’s daughter so no surprise she leads a song
The New Aglish Hogan’s in full swing
On the other hand maybe the next gathering is still in the hands of the older lot. I believe I heard Aunty Mai declare that, ‘wasn’t the party just great, I think I’ll do this for my 90th next year!’ Kathy and Denis, enjoy the preparations!! Put Chris and I on the guest list because nothing would stop us from being there.
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