Tag Archives: progress

Just a Drop in the Ocean

The last month has been filled with the dramatic impact of demonitisation. This possibly inspired move was intended to curtail black money which is prevalent throughout every transation in India: from the unregistered maid to the more impactful millions of dollars in bribes that tend to move for major real estate transactions to the millions of ₹50 ($1) bribes paid to the poor during election season. India cannot progress until this black market is controlled – simple. Hence the inspired moved to overnight ban the two large denomination notes (500 ($10) and 1000 ($20)) which form the basis for most black market transactions.


A Bridegroom 6 days after the introduction of the new₹2000 note. Restricted to withdrawals of 4,500 a week. His suit is made of these notes. This was at a wedding cost hundreds of millions of dollars – all clean according to both families – really!?

Reality is that the implementation was so poorly thought through that a month later the impact on the poor is heart-breaking and the reality is that the wealthy just rapidly moved their money into gold / diamonds and have quickly managed to come by the new notes (500 ($10) and ₹2000 ($40)) through bribes, threats and connections. It is the poor with money but no means of accessing it that are going hungry. Impact of Demonitisation It is the migrant daily workers with no means of being paid who are being forced to give up their lives in the cities and go home to the small farms they originally left in desperation. Video: Monkey Has Just Been Paid  

fullsizeoutput_231c.jpegIt has been easy therefore this month to focus purely on the negative. Focus on the fact that you have to watch every rupee: that you have to consider whether you really need to take a rickshaw or whether it is better to walk.  I could also focus on the all pervasive pollution that rolls in thickly every evening and somewhat recedes during the day: leaving your eyes gritty, your chest clogged and with a, at times, hacking cough. These are the things that it is so very easy to focus on. For me however the last month has also brought significant progress in a very more positive way.

For me, my greatest achievement since moving to India has been my involvement with Ashta No Kai, a small but impactful charity operating in 9 villages around Pune.

I have been teaching English in one of these villages to groups of girls for the last 18 months. Rapidly it became clear that my objective should have very little to do with language acquisition but more on building the confidence and independence of these incredible girls

The girls, aged 13 – 15, live in a very rural village with limited outside impact save for TV and the work of Ashta No Kai. Their knowledge of the world outside of their village is incredibly limited. They are trained from an early age not to question what they are told. They are trained to blindly accept the authority of their elders. In school, they are not given the opportunity and consequently the confidence to think for themselves. They have learnt to fear making mistakes therefore following whatever their superiors do is a safer way to live.

Photo credit: Deborah Clearwater of Embracing India

My objective with my girls is to as much as possible try and counter this approach. I want them to feel they have a choice. If they CHOOSE to continue living the life of all the girls that have come before them, then that is no problem. The key word however is: CHOOSE.

It has taken 18 months but we are finally beginning to see the impact of such an approach

Village visit Mum and Dad Oct '16-7-3.jpg
Medal winning karate girls! Ashta No Kai had to fight entrenched opinions about the role of girls to convince parents to allow their girls to attend karate classes. The girls grow in confidence and in the ability protect themselves from sexual abuse – someone is raped in India every 8 seconds. 

on the girls. I cannot claim full responsibility. Deborah Clearwater has been coming religiously to our weekly lessons for about 8 months now can take great responsilibity. We are of course but a conduit for helping Ashta No Kai transmit this female empowerment message. There are several such conduits including health and legal education and karate classes.A new lady, Erin, came to the village with us this week. Deborah and I beamed with pride when one of the girls went straight up to her and asked her name, how she was and finally said, ‘nice to meet you’. We beamed with pride when we asked the girls to work in pairs and they did with no hesitation. We beamed with pride when we asked them to use their initiative to apply that day’s learning to new ideas of their own choosing and they did! We beamed with pride because these are skills unimaginable a mere 18 months ago. We turned to each other and said, ‘this is why we do it. This is affirmation that we are making an impact.’



The girls have grown in confidence significantly. This ability to move and use their initiative as shown in this photo would have been impossible a mere 18 months ago.                                     Photo credit: Deborah Clearwater of Embracing India 

Has the girls English improved in this time? Somewhat – dramatically – definitely not! Why not? The boundaries to learning were so strong that a simple task that should take 10 minutes takes 120 minutes. Progress to me is irrelevant. The girls when older can choose to learn English but if they fall into the trap of blindly accepting everything they are told; if they are not trained to puzzle out answers; if they are not encouraged to see just how incredible they are, that they should believe in themselves then no matter how good their English is, their future is limited to whatever other people say their future should be.

This is not why I came to India but it is what I will take away and something incredible to have been involved in!

I am also so very proud to say that I have been able to lead others towards supporting Ashta No Kai this month. From a former neighbour who donated ₹1000 ($20) to a friend who gave me a cheque for ₹5000 ($100). A friend’s company has just donated ₹2.5 lakh ($5,000). A fantastic woman here on a British Council internship is in the process of taking over the running of the charity’s website (soon to be launched). Another lady, with a background in development work analysis and grant applications has offered to work with Ashta No Kai to produce professional impact assessements while also helping to apply for much needed grants. I now also co-ordinate a group of expat women happy to come regularly or some as and when needed to the village to support the more regular teachers. Hence ensuring that if I cannot attend lessons one week, lessons can continue without me therefore causing less disruption to the girls’ lessons.

Myself and Deborah have also found success recently more locally, indeed in the oldest part of Pune – Kasba Peth. For about 9 months, I have been teaching a young man English.

                                           Vivek, my student and the community he lives in.                                                 Photo credit: Deborah Clearwater of Embraced Photography

He is in his early 20s and is developing a carreer in finance. Walking through his community one day on an incredible tour (Chalo Heritage and Nature Walks), I came across this shy unassuming guy – terrifyed to speak English but desperate to learn! 7 months later, I realised from weekly excursions into this tightly knit community that the women (one in particular) seemed anxious to learn English but household duties and to a certain extent mother-in-law reluctance meant that any attempt to offer them free lessons was going to fall on deaf ears (if disappointed ones!).

The offer to teach their pre-school children English (Deborah and Barb’s job) thereby freeing the women up for that hour to learn English (my job) turned the whole situation around. The child’s education being only possible if the women also came to class. Mother-in-laws therefore agreed as the opportunity for their grandchildren to spend time with expats learning English was too good an opportunity to miss.

Four lessons in, it is still an evolving group. There is a central core of 2 – 3 women but every lesson has brought new students. The women are incredibly excited about learning and spend their lessons giggling, with me telling them off for helping the others rather than letting them learn for themselves.

Most of these women finished their education between the ages of 12 – 15 and therefore not only is learning a skill they have to recall but I’m doing it in a very different way to how they were used to it! My achievement that I am proud of this month therefore is being able to set this group up (believe me not an easy feat!) and now that the woman I set it all up for finally came to lessons on Friday!! I could have burst with happiness!

For cultural reasons, I cannot show you the children’s lessons in progress. Some of the girls are Muslim and consequently their parents do not want their photos published. Love the old man blowing up his balloon (not his granddaughter’s – no – HIS balloon!) Barb, clearly enjoying the incredible time she has with the children every week. 

While I teach the mixed community women (Hindu and Muslim) in the local Hindu temple, Deborah and Barb teach their children on the pavement outside. There are three particular children who always attend with a floating collection of other children and adults on a weekly basis. My moment of pride in the kids came on Friday when one rounded the corner and upon seeing me said confidently, ‘Good morning!’ – loud and clear! This little girl is not quite 4 (she is a twin). Her little sister (about 2 1/2 years old) is beginning to get the confidence to sit close to Barb and Deborah and is beginning to talk to them (in Marathi) where before she hid or stayed very close to her older sisters. They are the children of the mum I set the classes up for.

Her attendance on Friday in my lessons was a vote of confidence in Deborah and Barb. Previously, she had washed clothes or dishes outside her house while keeping a wary eye on her children, now she is happy to leave them and learn herself. This woman therefore who spends most of her life under the wary eye of her mother-in-law now has an hour a week where she is a woman: not a mother, a sister, a wife, a daughter-in-law – simply a woman. I like to think that that hour of giggles and laughter is something the women look forward to and is perhaps not the highlight of their week but certainly a high point.

It has been challenging however as we have an increasing number of women desperate to have lessons but I am just one person and a class of 20 is simply not going to work. We have a new volunteer however  – Erin (who also comes to the village) – although she has taught English in the past, she is conscious that she needs to develop the necessary skills to teach in India. Once she is confident however we intend to either increase the size of our current women’s class or to start a second one! Amazing!

That all sounds like I am looking for a big pat on my back, ‘well done, Karen – aren’t you doing well.’ It is not intended that way. People talk about being just a drop in the ocean as something negative – as if you are making no impact. What is the ocean made of however? Simple – millions of drops. Create enough drops and you have an ocean.

If you can support Ashta No Kai in any way, please feel free to contact me (whatwillhappentome@gmail.com). Ashta No Kai will happily accept financial as well as practical support.


Pride Comes Before a Fall But Who Cares!

They say that pride comes before a fall but I think there are times where that is quite simply nonsense. My feeling is that at times a sense of pride in your achievements helps to motivate you and push you to keep going.

We normally feel proud when: at work – you negotiated successfully a huge contract; fitness – you completed a 10 km run despite three months ago having never run at all; home – you helped to design your new kitchen and now it is in place and looks great.

For those who suffer from a chronic illness, the things that we can feel proud of significantly narrow. Physically achievements that ‘normal’ people regard as successes are impossible; anything that requires a financial commitment tend to be impossible; work achievements in the ‘normal’ sense again are impossible – just surviving work or working at all are the greatest achievement most can hope for.

Despite this narrowing of a sense of achievement, there are lots for M.E. patients to feel proud of. Rather than macro achievements however ours are very much micro achievements. We achieve things that ‘normal’ people wouldn’t even notice on a daily basis but for us represent mountains to climb.

Today, I feel a great sense of pride in my achievements. The progress I have seen over the last 7 weeks and in particular in the last 3 is quite frankly remarkable. The progress came in terms of my physical management but also my psychological management of this disease. The combination has enabled me for the first time in a long time to feel genuinely stronger and more ‘normal’.

So what have I achieved?
1. I am now able to stretch all the muscles in my body without payback later.
2. I have been able to increase the duration of each stretch from 5 seconds to 7 seconds.
3. I have created a successful system of alternating ‘Active’ and ‘Rest’ days, this has enabled me to avoid boom and bust.
4. I have been able to work out the baseline number of steps per day I should take – again avoiding the confusion between perception and reality of how active I am.
5. I have increased my Rest day steps from 1700 to 2530.
6. I have increased my Active day steps from 2700 to 3630.
7. I have enabled myself to go from practically housebound when alone, to being able to go out 3 – 4 days a week alone.
8. I have increased the distance I can walk on my Active days from practically nothing to 0.9 of a mile with a 10 – 20 minute break in the middle.
9. I have worked out that I can increase 2 activities a week by 10% without payback.
10. I have increased my Activity Points from an inconsistent 11 to a consistent 13.
11. I have been able to control my urge (most of the time) to do more than should on a good day therefore making it less likely that I will experience boom and bust.
12. I am able to read a book again (in short bursts) having not been able to for about 6 months.
13. Over the last 21 days, 20 have seen only mild symptoms where previously they were either moderate or severe.
14. I sleep every night for 8 – 10 hours: up from 3 – 4 hours six months ago.
15. I didn’t give up when all signs suggested I should.


If you have never been chronically ill, then my improvement (understandably to you) will be barely worth mentioning. If you have been chronically ill, you will realise the enormity of these achievements.

I feel incredibly proud of myself for not giving up, for being determined to very slowly improve my health and my activity level.

I am particularly proud of the fact that I didn’t give up fighting for suitable medical support and any necessary medication until I got it. Most of my achievements (except for those from medication) have been a result of my own self-designed treatment system but without those in the medical profession confirming that I was doing it right and by re-iterating just how slowly progress would be made, I may have given up – thinking my system wasn’t working. Therefore while my fight for medical support may not have led to anything revolutionary, it gave me the necessary confidence to keep going.


I remember as a child painting pictures (despite not being in anyway artistic), I remember how the more I concentrated on the tiny details, the more enjoyment I got from the activity and the finished product. Perhaps being chronically ill has reminded me to enjoy the little things about life that make life good and not worry so much about the big picture.

Modern life encourages us to want to achieve big – we need to run the marathon; earn big money; buy a big house; and have perfect children who are skilled in music, sport and are academically brilliant. Perhaps we shouldn’t be worrying about those things so much and concern ourselves instead with ensuring that every day we get as many of the little things that make life good right. So say hello to your neighbours, chat to your partner over dinner, be kind to strangers, take time to just be yourself by yourself, do your best at work without thinking that means you must work long hours, be happy with what you’ve got, go for a walk and notice the little insects and the flowers of spring. Surely these things will ultimately make you happier, stronger and prouder than being super fit and rich.

See also my other non-M.E. related blog: Me Opinionated! Really?